As I sit at the table, hot coffee nearby, breakfast devoured in anticipation of an upcoming hard workout, I contemplate the changes I have and am encountering as I transition from a team hire to a privateer. In some ways, I already felt like a privateer last year as I planned the majority of my own logistics, was self supported at events, and raced alone. However, this year is different in that I am the one in control. Or as much in control as one is able to be in their own life. Debatable.
While it could be argued that arranging one's schedule and logistics adds stress and workload, I have found it calming to be able to plan ahead. As I type, every airbnb for the 19 events for which I am registered is accounted for save 2. My flights and travel plans are set and budgets are put in place. The peace of mind this brings me is enormous. In the past, I have at times not known where my accommodations were or how I was traveling until the week prior. While I learned how to somewhat release the stress this caused, it certainly affected me, if only to wonder when was an appropriate time to inquire. Needless to say, I am reveling in the new freedom to be completely OCD when it comes to parts of my career I can control.
Another aspect of the privateer life I greatly enjoy is developing relationships with my sponsors. In the past, we were allowed very limited correspondance with sponsors, which as a high level road team with 15 or so riders is understandable not only for the sake of the sponsors, but the team management. However, relationships are an area where I thrive and getting to know the people behind the brands who support me is meaningful and fulfilling. While I am highly intrinsically motivated, having a personal relationship with sponsors directly invested in you and your journey adds a powerful source of fuel. It also adds a sense of calm to know these brands believe in you, not just the team you represent. I have and still do sometimes struggle with self confidence when it comes to chasing a dream I am passionate about. Seeing friendly and encouraging faces at the events around the country boosts my morale and helps me stand firmly in the way I wish to live my life.
Now my thoughts drift from the enjoyable tasks of correspondence, race planning, equipment checking to more immediate matters, such as feeding the baby bearded dragon, checking on a sick little girl, sweeping the 80 year old oak floors of our home, and baking some loaves of sourdough. Outside Texas is beaming cheerfully and soon, once the few to do's are completed, I will be enjoying the weather atop two wheels. Life will continue to swirl and dip around me and I am focused on enjoying every twist and turn with grace and thankfulness.
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